me too, Arya, me tooooo
This whole scene is golden.
you could hear arya going through puberty
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
"And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go."
trying to sing both parts in a disney song like
A WHOLE NEW WORLdon’t you dare close your eyes
A HUNDRED THOUShold your breath it gets better
I’M LIKE A SHOOTING STAR, I’VE COME SO FAR, I CAN’T GO BACK TO WHEREa whole new wooorrlllEVERY TURN A SURPRIwith new horizonEVERY MOMENT GETS BETTER
okay seriously if you’re in a relationship or even a friendship and you find yourself spending more time crying out of sadness or arguing with them, leave them. i don’t care if they’re a modern day aphrodite/adonis or a gift bestowed upon you by the gods. toxic people are dangerous and i highly advise cutting them out of your life and finding someone who makes you laugh until you snort your drink out your nose instead.
I feel not enough people acknowledge John Mulaney
He’s also the other half of the Hader-Mulaney writing team that brought us every SNL Stefon sketch. Also this bit, which is still the funniest stand-up piece I think I’ve ever heard.